Again tonight, he would see her.
Trace the lines of her face into his mind,
He made not a stir.
Her eyes, her eyes like silver dimes,
Would light up, and dim sadly,
He was with her, as far as he could see,
Love her deeply did he madly,
Forever with her he would be,
After this…
I’m scared of dying
she told him, a foot of space carefully placed between her face and the window.
He was on the outside,
standing.
Thinking.
Thinking about her answer and what it meant
about her
and him
and the past she carried around like old wallpaper over new walls.
Fuck it, he…
I’m running out of alibis
And of spindled thread
You don’t know how much I long
To be demonized and dead
Crumbled up and
Pushed aside
Carve my bones
And tan my hide
Blessed too, my abase
Seeking, finding mind’s erase
Lost in my own cavity
And life’s grim depravity
My dreadful, gorgeous
Suicide
…
